Sweeney's Blog

Life, Holidays and the herding of roaches

2007-01-02T09:49:00.000+10:00

Well my life is progressing well into the 2007 so far. I slept in and had great walk with the wife and dog and then we had to go and get the kids. With this one post I have upheld my New Years resolution of bringing the family further into nerd-dom. I rashly decided that I would weekly (not weakly) try and post to this site so people can get away from work, the kids and other trivial activities for a couple of minutes. I aim to try and make this fun, enjoyable and to package it in small, easily digestible lumps.

Oh Lordy, if only Christmas dinner had been like that!

We saw the new year in typical middle-age-with-two-kids fashion at Brian and Peta's (http://www.kealey.org) by having a typically loud and hilarious review of the year and then proceeded to make mortal enemies of the spouses by engaging in Unlimited Fighting Competition with whiteboard markers, also known as Pictionary. Finally we all racked off at 12:02am.

It is always settling to sit back with other parents and realise that your evil devil spawn are the same as theirs. Less the factors that only a family environment such as ours can inflict on a young supple mind and that of the psychologist trying to sort it out when they are in solitary at local giggling and laughing academy. Children are such a great social experiment for parents.

What a day Christmas was. There is absolutely nothing that can fill the recycling bin like a two kids with more grand parents, uncles and aunts than then the typical rabbit family. I am just hanging out to watch the recycling truck try and lift that yellow topped beauty. You know it is bad when the truck has to make three trips up a 14 house cul-de-sac, and the driver needs a crowbar to assist in the emptying process.

I am sorry but Global Warming is just not working out as intended. Read the Kealey's Blog of the Melbourne Christmas (linked above) and remember the couple days after Christmas in Queensland, the weather has just given up trying to be rational. It started to rain and that was lovely as the cane toads all jumped onto the road for a game of rapid cornering and retread but then the cold set in. Christmas day 32 degrees, one day later it is hitting 18 with a doonah wrapped around you, and all the toads are gone again to be replaced by the roach pick up crews.

These little 6 wheel drive speed demons have appeared out of the nasty festering cracks of Hades sprinkling concentrated e-coli in their wakes. I would love to squish more of them but they move faster than a fear stricken gazelle on cheetah test and tune day at the Serengeti. I think they are robots! I have formulated this opinion as I have been able to hit a couple of the slower ones, I think they were called Cletus and Zeek judging by their speed and mental acuity. These were summarily disposed of in the nearest nuclear storage receptacle (damn, none around). Alright then, the bin. I went back in the morning and all the little roachy Cletus and Zeek pieces had miraculously scraped themselves up and oozed off. Cletus and Zeek as I have already said were not the smartest and when their little synapses got to work, planning was forgotten. There now seems to be one massive roach around that seems to have dozens of legs, the ability to use Baygon as rocket fuel and block the average thong strike. Better bring the dog in at night!

IT’S SNOWING

2005-11-26T04:17:00.000+10:00

When it gets cold and windy these guys don’t mess around. Snow and frozen rain all night and gales up to 100km/h again. Well this is the first snow that the kids and I have seen so we merrily put on all the clothes we brought and trooped out to pl…… Crap it’s cold. 13 Milliseconds after going into the weather my hands have lost all feeling. Snotcicles are hanging from my nose. I can’t talk because my cheeks have gone numb. Bit of fun though.

The Sun is a fluorescent bulb that hangs in the sky between the hours of 10am and 4pm and offers all the heat of a candle in a stiff breeze.

The place is great, compact and green. Unbelievably green and now with funny white patches.

I simply had to get a photo of this shop. Grave stones. Supose there has to be some but this place looks positively plush very strange place.

See you all back in Oz.

Now it is getting cold

2005-11-22T15:09:00.000+10:00

Since coming up to Antrim we have basked in the most lovely weather we have seen here. It is almost like the place has forgotten that there are tourists here and left sun on. I might just watch the news and weather. OK about 3 degrees by the end of the week and with strong winds again temperature will get down to -9. What The! It hasn’t rained for almost a week now so they must be ready to go to level 2 water restrictions.
We have driven to the northern most point of this little island and had a look and today we go the closest point to Scotland (only about 18 kms) and had a look. They were surprisingly the same in appearance. The whole island falls from about 200m straight into the sea. It is spectacular and I have nearly driven off several roads looking at it. Lucky I had the wife proximity alarm installed to give early warning of suspect events. We are so close to Scotland in fact all the TV we get here is UK and Scotland even the phone is picking up UK vodaphone so I have no reception at all. The frosts are getting thicker and lasting longer around the place and I have to be particularly careful diving into the corners with a head of steam and the bit between my teeth, otherwise the car, the steam and the screaming passengers will all shoot straight across the apex into Paddy’s paddock.
Even the locals around here are now starting to plug holes in the walls because the local Met bureau is predicting that it will be bitterly cold. Oh Crap I am going to die. It is going to be freezing up till Saturday when we leave. So we are going to leave from sub zero and get back to plus 30. Boy that will be pleasurable. Mind it will be nice to get clothes dry in anything under 2 days on the line as it seems that hanging the clothes out just makes them cold and wet instead of just wet.
Everyone is starting to miss home and talk about the things that we miss, so the holiday must be ending. See everyone soon and we promise not to bore everyone with the 1000 photos in one day. Yes we do have 1000 photos. I love a digital with a big memory.

Of Crazy Pavers and Icicles

2005-11-19T15:20:00.000+10:00

We have been up to the giants causeway. Looks to me like Jamie Durey and his team went nuts with the pavers and concrete columns. Bitterly cold as usual, it got up to about 5 degrees with that gentle breeze of 50km/h again. My nose running and freezing horizontally. We also visited the famous rope bridge of Crooked knee (or something like that). And as per usually it had been taken down for the winter!!! Must have needed a wash or something. We have been past stone forts, dolmens, forests and farms all closed for the winter. It is starting to get me down a bit actually. How can a stone fort need to close for winter. More likely the fool collecting the fee at the gate wouldn’t work in the cold and so they closed it instead of letting people in for free.
Speaking of free. The parking laws in this country are likely to kill me. They double and triple park for the hell of it. They also park in any direction and on any side of the road that they want even if it is only a single lane "freeway". They just nick across in front of you as you are driving and then stop in front of you!!?? Everyone but the Aussies think this normal and you should just drive around, OF COURSE silly me. Also if you can’t see a space just stop wherever you want. I have not been able to get into a servo because some fool had stopped dead in the middle of the forecourt drive in!!??
The father and I also visited the Bushmill’s distillery. The have been making hooch here since 1608 (not a mistype), and apparently the monks have been doing it here since 1300. Those monks have a lot to answer for. Everywhere we have been the monks have distilled or fermented everything to see if they could get pissed on it. Must have been cold in a cassock and no undies. On the way home the car started making an alarm and it took us a little to find what it was the external temperature had dropped below 3 degrees.
That night it went well below freezing and but all we could think about was to go and write our names in something. TOURISTS. The only difference between frost in Ireland and Australia is that in Ireland it never goes away all these photos were taken after 1pm. Need some of that Bushmills now.

Another glorious day in paradise

2005-11-19T00:52:00.000+10:00

Well that last place was a dump. It so cold we must burnt a small peat bog in the two days that we tried to accommodate the place. One of the first things I had to do was find the quickest route to the hospital. That was because I was going to wind up with a brain haemorrhage because all the doors were 5 feet tall. I am not joking they were very small. The stairs were about 60 cm wide and went up at a very jaunty angle. The Parents in law decided that it was too cold, too small, too cold, too dirty, too cold and in the middle of nowhere. Oh well two out three places so far have been good, not bad for all internet booking. The mother in law has called everyone outside Tony Blair to tell them that the place was not appropriate and that we would be leaving 13 seconds after we got a better place. So we started to call around and most places were closed for winter and funnily enough as soon as she said the place we were in "was terrible and we were desperate to get out" their prices were very high. DUHHHH! The worst we were offered was euro 2500 down to euro 400. Then it was suggested that we just try to go to the next place see if they were available. Lordy they are. 4.365 sec after this the wagons were loaded and the kids saying "Are we going somewhere Mum?"
We final made it to the new place at 5pm so an hour after sundown. The days start at about 8am here but the sun is not up to 8:30 and is back down at 4:30. This does limit the solar power on the top of the head. Not to mention the fact that if you left it out, then the all the remaining hair would freeze and snap of in the next gentle breeze. Gentle breezes here run at about 50km/h.
Northern Ireland is spectacular and I think the green receptors in my eyes are going to blow up shortly. I actually saw a doco on Australia and watched it just to give them a rest and compared it here the place looked in black and white. Or rather brown and white.

Onwards and ever upwards

2005-11-13T12:22:00.000+10:00

Well we have moved on from the fair village of Doolin. 2 days of cyclone 3 of rain and 1 of Sun as we drove out of town. The temperature is getting into the brass monkey region with a max of 8-9 being forcast. The place at Doolin and small and home and the place we have moved into is large and rustic. I seems to be just a bit to rustic for everyone. I need mountain boots upstairs as the floor is up hill and down dale. It seems to be the old farm house and they have built a slightly better one upfront and are letting this one to try and pay of the new one. The house is surrounded on most sides by sheds and mud. We have driven up to Longford to try and get into somewhere better. I will pass on more info when it comes to hand.

Holy Windbags Batman!!

2005-11-09T17:12:00.000+10:00

Well Taylor is much better today and we have outfitted her with some antibiotics and I have told her if she gets sick again we will throttle her. Surprisingly she doesn’t believe me !!??

Driving in this place is unbelievable. The major roads are no more than the width of a truck and car so if a truck and truck meet I think they have to send out a road team to make some more bitumen. It is not a matter of pulling on the median as the median in most places consists of a dry stone wall some 5 feet high or a hedge of blackberry of similar height. I am getting used to passing cars, trucks, tractors and itinerant animals with no more than 15cm to spare at speed. I am going to scare the hell out some people in Australia when I start driving there again.

The wind has started picking up a bit here so I might watch the weather report and see what is going on. OK more rain, that is expected, down to 8 degrees, that is expected and winds of 100km/hr and gusting to 140km/hr, WHAT THE!!!??? We are staying right on the Atlantic coast here about 5 km in land and we are getting salt spray on the windows. If we were in Australia this would called a cyclone of category 3. I decided to get down to the water to see what it was like with the kids. We get all of our clothing on and actually mean everything we brought to the country. I got out down near the water and the went to get the kids out of the car but put them back in the car when they could not get their feet on the ground. Carmody basically flapped at the end of end my arm laughing all the way. Taylor just looked on in horror and wouldn’t move. The car aerial is bent at 90 degrees to normal just because of the wind. I have tried to take some photos but I could not stand still. Sea foam is being blown in land at least a kilometre!

Today we were off to see some rock on top of another rock (a ruin) Bunraty castle, apparently it is famous! We stop to fill up the car and get about ½ a tank of fuel and then suddenly it stops???? We decide to split up and the girls continue onto the medieval fun and the men stay with the modern bucket-o-pus. We wind up having to be towed back to town about 30km and the mechanic then proceeds to drain a litre of water out of the fuel pump, tank and injectors. All the way saying, with the thickest accent “I doon theen the waranteee will cover thas!”. ???? Hello National rent-a-rally car. This one is broke! Send me another! After half a day of stuffing around they did and it has not cost a jot. Big smile appears on Andrew’s dial.

Never work with Children and Parents in Law…

2005-11-09T17:05:00.000+10:00

We have moved on from Mallow and done the tremendous journey all the way to Ennis. Most people in Ireland would be as likely to do this via the direct route as drive across Australia. BUT we are tourists and we have done via the long way to an area of Ireland that must a post hole diggers hell. The Ring of Kerry. The southern side of this peninsula is amazing a real must do. You could walk the 20 km and take a photo every six metres and you would not see the same thing twice. Bored to tears, and visually over stimulated, Yes! We decided that we would have lunch along here and we decided on the most obscure part of the map. A tiny place called Hog Head. The “road” (term used loosely) is sort of stuck on to the side of some 100m high cliffs with door scrapping passing points every now and then. We go the place and it was as if on a bet some said “You’ll never build a house there, Shamus!” well Shamus bloody did, idiot. 10-12 houses nailed securely to a 60 degree incline and a piece of bitumen snaking to them. This then falls into the Atlantic so you can image the psycho storms this place sees.

The rest of the trip is uneventful and long but the kids will recover in a day or so.

The next day the Father in law has bug up his ass and is being a pain but we just ignore him back which is only egging him on much to my glee. The more worrying thing is Taylor a couple of days ago we found she had a huge cavity in her teeth and it was starting to hurt. If I had a hole like that I would have must of the neighborhood knowing. We turned on the Aussie charm and turned up at a local dentist to get it filled. Wow we really must have turned on cause they didn’t even charge us. Thank God. Now she is running a fever and in her usual way if she gets any thing it automatically turned in Tonsillitis. So we off to a doctor again to get some more drugs and she is already displaying the painful nature in children to get better in ½ an hour.

The cottage we are in is wonderful with views over Aran islands. Well known for 10 foot waves and sheep with wings. An amazing fact of these sheep is that they never turn their backs to the wind. This is because it would be straight up the back passage and blow the sheep up to twice their normal size.

Can’t remember what the sun looks like anymore.

Ruins, Ruins everywhere

2005-11-02T21:25:00.000+10:00

How much crystal could we afford? Apparently more than I thought! We got moving and tore off down some of the best roads Ireland has to offer on our trip. At the roads seemed good until you meet a tractor coming the other way moving at light speed (for a tractor) and about 100 tonnes of sugar beets and wheels in both gutters, at the same time. Given the size of the car I may just about get under it without a scratch but I do have a € 1,200 excess on the rally car. Dammit! Nothing for it test the ABS and close my eyes. That worked and it actually explained a lot about how the Irish drive.

Well we are on our way to Waterford to have look and NOT TOUCH KIDS!!!! It was about 120Km to Waterford and the road was really good at the end we gave the trusty stead it’s head, all the way to 110km/h. Put some more Saka in well get up to the speed limit.

The crystal making is awesome and it must be hard, there are three different things to do blowing, cutting and engraving each requiring a 5 year general apprenticeship followed by a 3 year specialization and then a 3 three mastership. The guy trusted with removing parts of peoples body has not needed that much study so what are these guys doing wrong. No obvious lines about being Irish that is just to easy. There are hundreds of pieces that they can be asked to make each with it’s own pattern. They remember all of them by HEART. All cuts are down hand as is the engraving. I have trouble enough remembering to by my fly up as I leave the bathroom let alone remember all this sort of extra info. HOLY COW.

Moving on we were heading for yet another rock in a paddock. Or perhaps there are two rocks on top of each other, in which case it would be called a ruin. On that subject there are more ruins in this place every couple of kms there is another abbey, rectory, friary, convent or castle in some state of disrepair and all older than the white history of Australia. The Irish have proud history of putting magnificent builds up and then forgetting where the put them.

The rock we are heading for was is the famed Rock of Cashell. Huh? Well I am here to tell you this place was impressive. Full on castle and cathedral on top of a very large monolith and a lot of it built in the 12th Century. And now they charge €12 for the family ticket. Impressive on many fronts, age, grandeur, and the fact that some crazy rich man convinced some other not rich men to whack a whole shite load of rocks on top of another rock and it would be great.

Big day and we get home late and the rain has set in again. We listen to the weather report and apparently the 13 degrees we had was unseasonably warm. Oh O.

Terrifying Tourists

2005-11-01T21:17:00.000+10:00

We are armed with two underpowered rent a rally cars and digital film.

We awoke a little early but it was worse than we thought. Unbeknownst to us the fools decided that this weekend was the one to change out of daylight saving so we are all up at 5am. We did not figure this out till turned up for lunch at 11am and the restaurant owner freaked out in an entirely Irish way and insisted that they could not serve us till the food was cooked. I was getting ready to explain to them in my best Aussie Tourist Put Out voice that they could, when they explained that they had changed the clocks and had we fixed ours??? Opps, freaking crazy people. I have only just adjusted to 10 different timezones and then they rearrange them on my second day. Oh well getting cranky won’t help, make me feel better, but it definitely won’t help.

Well on with the day. We were off for a short trip day and went to a town of ruins, Glanworth. They had a ruined castle and ruined bridge and a ruined mill and ruined abbey beside another ruined abbey and 15 pubs in a town of 20 houses and 4 churches and no credit card facilities. You think I’m joking. The castle was just like a castle should be smaller chunks or rock stacked very neatly on top of another very large rock. And if you use your imagination it is exactly shaped like a stereo type castle. But the castle has very common roots it was the toll booth for the bridge. The bridge is psycho with about 6 inches on either side of a car. Oldest bridge in use in Europe and tight ass Irish won’t outlay to replace it. We stopped at one of the ruined abbeys to check out the graves and continue the competion to find the oldest grave we could the Winner was 1720. Holy Cow. These people worked, lived and died 70 years before Australia was even found. This only topped by the pub we saw in another town that was established in 1610.

Next on the list is Lock Gur. Irelands short and more distant cousin of Stone Henge. In ther area are quite a few little stone age rocks that range from somewhere between 10,000,000 years and 4000 years ago. The humorous thing about these is the new age and old fashion hippies that have claimed this as there dreadlocked, pot smoking front yard. Morons in every country.

Some of the roads are incredible National road that is 1 lane wide and bitumened 2 centuries ago. Great fun to get the rent a rally down. Well time for a new story. Waterford next and all the crystal we can afford, NONE.

and would you be wantin’ rain with that

2005-10-30T21:11:00.000+10:00

OK lets get on with the story of the Ireland Trip. Leaving Heathrow was great as it was a rathole with scabs but it felt like we were driving to Ireland the amount of taxiing we did. Typical Irish, $10 million plane that they drive every where. We did however take off and we no sooner got up then it came down. What a blessing. Aer Lingus deposited safely in the middle Dublin Airport with it’s beautiful green lawns. Hang all the grass is like this! Off through what we can loosely call a passport check and down to get the mode of Transport. We got a Mitsubishi Spacia. Small 4 cylinder rice burner that could not even get the indicator on the right side of the steering wheel. Kept turning the windscreen wipers off or on. And the POWER, whoah, I just hope I don’t have a head on with anything with larger than a stoat or I might not actually kill it.

And it is pouring with rain, not like an English shower more your north Queensland downpour and wind like Cyclone Wilma but straight out of the Arctic. I found myself changing lanes several times without actually indicating, looking or wanting too. Luckily everyone else changed lanes at the same time. Pity about the guy on the outside lane. The Motorways are great, 120km/h. Quick honey start rowing we will get her up to speed. 5th gear is great for downhill runs.

The directions were fantastically Irish, all in miles, and told us to turn at Doolan’s farm and left at the “Green” house. Green is in quotes as the house is actually Peach. Found the house finally despite this and got setup. The wind is still making stiff trees and large house tilt to the west. The owner is a lovely woman, Gertrude (yes her real name) who’s family has been know as The Magners of the Inches since the early 1900s and the ‘dairy’ farm has produced mostly potatoes and turnips or grass and silage bales. Gertrude had made us a plate of fantastic cream cakes for our arrival and brought down a jug of fresh milk topped with two inches of cream. If we keep up this eating we will come back looking like cream cakes ourselves.

The kids are still getting over the whole body clock thing, with both them up at 3am wanting to talk and play. Only threats of Physical violence worked and the promise that Barbie would not see another day unless they went back to bed. I woke up again in the dark and started to think that my clock was out to. Looked at the watch but I can’t see it as it is dark, idiot. Get torch and check watch again. 6:30??!!?? Must not have set it right in London, so I get up to confirm my stupidity. No it is actually 6:30 and the sun is still hours away from rising. I have heard of daylight saving but first you some daylight to save.

The old folks have arrived to day with stories of their trip and prezzies for the kids. KLOGS!! Advice:- give no child klogs if you have hollow wooden floors. I think the same decibel rating would be seen at a Metallica concert. Apparently it was not only our flight that blew chunks.
Lets play tourist Tomorrow.

Well off we go

2005-10-28T15:29:00.000+10:00

Well the trip starts. We left Brisbane on what can be called a typical hot humid day to arrive in Singapore on a typical hot, humid night. The girls were painful on the plane but that is to be expected. Carmody could not sit still with a gun to head and super glue on her butt but conversely the flight started a little rough and Taylor was a bit air sick, not bad though enough to put her off her dinner. Carmody informed us around a mouth full of nuggets that she too was feeling a bit sick. Ha.

Singapore is some place. 3000% humidity according to Peta and she would know. We basically walked out of the airport without hurdle we just walked towards the nothing to declare sign and presto we were outside. We then caught a Taxi. One guy hailed it, one guy opened a door and another shoved the bags in the boot, Another took the trolley away and finally the guy that did not speak english was ellected taxi driver. Lines on the road must mark graves because they aren't for driving inside. Also looked a bit like he lived in here. "Off to the Royal Plaza hotel on Scott Rd Please" Quizical look? "R-o-y-a-l P-l-a-z-a! S-c-o-t-t R-o-a-d" Can't believe I just said it that slow, oh my God I am a stereo type. No worries we are off. I have visions of a Chimpanzee and a bottle of Pepsi Max, "Don't worry no sugar!" Carmody Says "Dad is very queit in the front!" No I am not I have to keep body count and at speed that is hard.

Jokes aside Singapore is lovely, clean, hot and humid and the hotel is nice. Better enjoy life now as thed next flight is 13 hours followed by 4 of driving. Do I hear Justifiable Homicide anyone.

Two days to go

2005-10-25T11:50:00.000+10:00

Well the last couple of days may have been a holiday for me but I have been very busy ensuring that all the stuff around the house is nailed down. Storms every day remind me what the place is in for while we are off. Peta is doing her usual trick of staying up till the middle of the night making things and general contributing to the excitment level of the house. Alsorts of people wishing us a great trip and far to many saying stay safe. I am a magnet for danger or is there something I should know.

The kids are packed and I have a lot of crap spread out around the place and one small bag to do a Mary Popins on. The laptop is going with us and I have just about completed a mamoth dial up to get it updated and hardened, if you could say that the custard that microsoft calls security is hard.

Must remember to get a UK adapter for the power!

Two more sleeps to go.

Sweeney's Blog

2005-10-19T13:02:00.000+10:00

Sweeney's Blog

Only 8 days to go and I am palming off work like a teenage boy locked in the bathroom. Everyone is excited. The last weekend has been good training for the climate it was cold and rainy here in Brisbane.

Sweeney's Blog

2005-10-03T12:19:00.000+10:00

Only 24 days to go we have all the Passports ready just the wife has to find her's. She will have put in a good secure spot that only terrorist's can find no doubt.